As a working parent and leader, you may consider time your main concern. You may want to learn how to manage time better. However, I would argue that without stress management you will struggle to succeed. If you are highly stressed (and according to the Modern Families Index 2025 from Bright Horizons, 29% of 3,000 people interviewed, working parents are very stressed), managing your nervous system and establishing a self-care routine can allow you to make better decisions, lead and execute more effectively in the time you have. As a bonus, self-care and stress management will improve your mental health and wellbeing. In this blog, I would like to show, from the neuroscience perspective, why self-care is essential for us and how you can incorporate micro-habits in your daily routine to maintain balance and productivity.
The Neuroscience of Self-Care
Stress and the Prefrontal Cortex
Stress affects the function of the prefrontal cortex, which is the brain region responsible for ‘top-down’, higher-order guidance of thought, attention, behaviour and emotion. This brain region is highly sensitive to stress hormones and neurochemicals, which weaken its structure and strengthen emotional operations of the amygdala. It means that in a time of stress, we will not choose thoughtful, controlled behaviour, but lean towards emotional, conditioned reaction. Prolonged stress leads to difficulties in concentration and impulse control. Practising self-care and managing your stress levels will reduce cortisol levels and balance dopamine, therefore enhancing cognitive functions, balancing emotions and improving motivation.
Decision Fatigue and Cognitive Resources
Leaders and parents make numerous decisions daily (from what to prepare for family meals to which business strategy will bring the best results) leading to decision fatigue. Unfortunately, we have limited mental energy and our cognitive resources can get depleted. It results in poor choices, indecisiveness or decision avoidance. Incorporating breaks and self-care habits helps the brain to recover, improving decision-making and problem-solving abilities.
Dopamine and Motivation
Dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter associated with reward, pleasure and motivation, has two sides to it. On one hand, it supports our motivation and wellbeing. If dopamine level is too low, we are tired and unmotivated. Once we set and achieve our goals, we get a dopamine boost and feel good about ourselves, it can keep us going to get another ‘hit’ of it. On the other hand, if we get too much of this reward, we can become anxious and restless. Social media scrolling can keep us in a dopamine loop and create addictive behaviours. Therefore, understanding how dopamine works and creating habits that keep it in balance can increase our wellbeing.
Practical Self-Care Strategies
Sleep
It may seem obvious, but sleep is absolutely fundamental for our brain functions. It is recommended to get at least 7 hours of sleep per night. I would encourage you also to think about the quality of your sleep. Instead of social media scrolling or ‘just checking’ things on your screens, consider establishing routines that can support your relaxation. You may want to gently stretch, read a book, take a few slow, deep breaths, have a conversation with your partner, enjoy a mindful moment with a cup of herbal team, listen to relaxing music or a guided meditation. If your mind is busy with thoughts about tomorrow and ‘things I need to remember’, please grab a notebook and move your concerns or ‘to-dos’ to paper and leave them out of your bed.
Movement
For some people, regular gym sessions, long runs or swims are non-negotiables. However, I also know that there are moments in our lives when exercising is very difficult to fit in. For example, having a newborn at home, a family going through a sickness (one member brings a virus home, which then spreads to everyone), or a very intense time at work. In moments like these, think about your realistic opportunities for movement that can help you connect with your body. A short walk outside, 10 minutes yoga in the morning, stretching at your desk, dancing with kids and taking a phone call while walking between rooms can regulate your nervous system and give you energy boost.
Connection with Yourself and Others
When you are ’on’ and run from one task to another, you may stay in a very problem-solving mode, stress from previous meetings can build up and you carry emotions through the day. Sometimes you may even lose control over your emotions… If you focus on connecting with yourself and with others in an intentional way, you may notice more, tap into your body, feelings and intuition and build more empathetic and stronger relationships. To connect with your mind, you can start journaling – you can do free writing or use a structured approach like the one in The 6 Minute Diary. If you don’t like writing, focus on your body: breathe slowly and do a body scan, notice each muscle group, check any tensions and ask yourself ‘How am I today?’. Other ways to reduce cortisol levels may involve a massage or having a bath.
To connect with others, be mindful and curious about their work and life. Even a few minutes of check-in with your team member can help reduce their/ your stress levels and solve problems easier. At home, you may want to establish a ‘no-screens’ rule during family meals to talk about things that matter to each of you.
Reset Techniques
Even if you have great routines of sleep, movement, connection and other self-care activities, you can still get triggered by unexpected events, conflicts and crises. To quickly reduce stress, take care of yourself and allow yourself to respond in the best way, consider 3-minute reset:
- 1 minute: pause and breathe, take a few slow, deep breaths.
- 1 minute: movement, just stretch, stand up or leave a room and come back, it is all to change a perspective and your state.
- 1 minute: focus on controllable, analyse the situation and identify what you can do and control.
If you would like to work on improving your self-care routines, stress management or work-life balance, please get in touch to book a free discovery call to discuss how coaching can help.