We are approaching the final few months of the year, and it is a great time to get more clarity on our priorities to ensure we finish the year satisfied with our results. In my recent coaching sessions with leaders and managers from global organisations, I have noticed that many of them face multiple business objectives, new projects and initiatives like embracing AI or new technologies at a time of organisational transformations. Very often they are very talented and ambitious professionals, who value making an impact on the business as well as helping other colleagues and teams. Some of them don’t want to miss opportunities to get involved in important projects that could put them in a greater place for career progression. As a result, they attend countless meetings, do extra hours and still find it hard to see great progress on multiple fronts, it can be hard for them to master the art of saying no. In my coaching blog this month, I would like to explore a few steps that can support your prioritisation and assertiveness that will help to set you up for success in Q4 2024.
1. Taking an audit
Additional projects, responsibilities, tasks and favours tend to creep into our lives gradually and sometimes when we say yes, we don’t even realise how much time and resources they can require for completion. Therefore, I would love to encourage you to take an audit of your responsibilities, you may want to write down the answers to the questions below:
- What are your objectives for the rest of the year?
- What are your job responsibilities?
- What are the new initiatives, priorities and projects that have appeared in the last few months?
- What are other additional responsibilities that you have taken on?
- Who are the people who request most of your help and knowledge?
- Which task have you said or would like to say no to this year, to reach a manageable workload and be most impactful?
Once you understand where you currently are, it can help guide you as to where you may delegate some tasks, say no a project or review timings and priorities with your line manager.
2. Looking at your why
Take a moment to reflect on recent situations when you agree to do something extra for others, what made you say yes? Maybe it was because you had a:
- Need to be liked.
- Need to be helpful.
- Need to focus on something with immediate results rather than choosing strategic planning.
- Need to demonstrate the value of problem-solving.
- Belief that you are best suited for the task because of your expertise or position.
- Need to protect others.
- Implicit expectations that you have to say yes otherwise you will be seen as not coping.or not being worth promotion.
- Belief that if you say no you can hurt someone and ruin the relationship.
Once you pinpoint your need, belief or value driving your behaviour, consider if they are indeed true. For example, do you need to fulfil everyone’s requests to get promoted? What boundaries could you set yourself that you can put in place? For example, if you get a huge satisfaction from helping others, could you limit yourself to signposting them or dedicate 10 minutes a day to these requests?
3. Benefits of saying no
Saying yes can be easier in a moment, it can help you avoid negotiations and difficult conversations, however at the end of the day you will pay the cost for that in your time, focus and effectiveness. Assertiveness involves communicating your opinions and feelings confidently in an honest and open manner with respect to others. If it is done well, it can give you respect of others, reduce stress, increase your self-esteem, give you a greater sense of control and improve your leadership.
4. Mastering the art of saying no
I need to clarify that saying “no” has hundreds of versions and definitely is not limited to a blunt no. Explore a few tips around the art of saying no that can get you started on your assertiveness journey:
- Stay aware of the pipeline of your tasks and deadlines, so you don’t overcommit.
- Before you say “Sure, I will do that” pause and ask clarifying questions of what would be exactly required from you.
- Hit the pause button again with a phrase like, “I will come back to you at the end of the day as I need to finish the task I have in hand, to see if I can offer you my help.” Giving yourself a little bit of time will help you make an informed decision.
- If you are preparing for a meeting and it is very likely you will be asked to do something, think about your boundaries in advance, for example, you can only get involved in the initial phase of the project or you can deliver what is required but you need additional time.
- Stick to I statements, for example, “I choose to prioritise the project that is crucial to the growth of our revenue, and can consider getting involved in this new technology upgrade later this month” or “I find this new policy challenging as it will negatively affect my team members and cause a drop in engagement.”
- Say yes to the person and no to the task, for example, “I can see how important this project is for you and because I cannot commit fully to it at the moment I would prefer not to get involved.”
- Negotiate and get clarity on the priorities –”I am working on project A at the moment and have just been requested to deliver project B as soon as possible, which one shall I prioritise? What is the flexibility or additional resources that we can use to deliver best results?”
- Practise saying no in different situations, and become comfortable with it. Imagine this is like a muscle you need to exercise and increase the weights you lift. You can start with, “No, I don’t want tea, I prefer coffee, “No, I am not going to stay longer today to attend this update call” to more challenging ones like “No, leading this new project will sabotage the results of other initiatives that I have on my plate at the moment.”
If you need support in mastering the art of saying no, please get in touch to arrange a no-obligation discovery session and let’s discuss how leadership coaching can help.