Attending long networking events or joining parents’ clubs might not be the most desirable and accessible forms of building connections when you are a working parent in a leadership or management position. With many responsibilities to juggle, networking likely falls low on your priority list. You may also not like it or feel uncomfortable starting conversations.
Why Networking Matters
Nevertheless, the statistics show that 70 to 85 per cent of jobs are found through networking (including second and third degree connections). This job search strategy is especially useful in the context of the hidden market (positions that are never advertised). Also, if you consider your current organisation, building the right connections can open doors to new projects, collaborations and even promotions.
On the family front, you might have experienced ad hoc situations when another parent from school, a good neighbour or a friend covered your school run duties or provided childcare for a few hours. Networking is about creating your support system to be successful in navigating different spheres of your life.
Neuroscience of Connection
As humans, we are built for social connections; our brains reward us for interactions with oxytocin and serotonin. Do you recall this good feeling after a short conversation with a co-worker next to the coffee machine or with another parent at the school gate? We don’t even need a full-length interaction; a smile, shared experience, or a thoughtful question can activate our mirror neurons, which help us ‘sync up’ emotionally with others. These micro-connections support building trust, which is a foundation of any relationship. (You can find more details about the magic of mirror neurons here.)
Mindset of Curiosity
If the idea of networking makes you anxious, as the start of a conversation can feel awkward, tap into a mindset of curiosity and wanting to learn and understand the person in front of you. In the words of Dale Carnegie, the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to make other people interested in you.”
Five Networking Strategies for Busy Parents
In terms of practical strategies, you may want to consider a few:
- Leveraging micro-moments: start a conversation at the pick up from a sports club, arrange a Zoom check-in or leave a LinkedIn comment.
- Consistency rather than intensity: short, regular interactions are more effective than one-off, long meetings. If we connect with someone just once and never follow up, it is quite likely that they may not even remember us.
- Showing generosity first: share a relevant article, enable connection to others or offer small help with a school event.
- Being intentional: reflect on your networks and identify a few people with whom you would like to build deeper connections.
- Using deeper questions: depending on a person, consider using questions which can build trust, offer empathy and deepen a relationship, like:
What is the project you are the most proud of/excited about / hopeful about right now?
What are you learning about now and what support are you using to do so?
What is the challenge that you are experiencing now?
How are you juggling your work and life during busy times?
What are you working on (personally or professionally) that you may want more people to know about?
Building and nurturing your connections at work and in your personal life is, I dare to say, the best strategy to thrive in your competing realities. It is a support system for you, your family and your career.
If you would like to work on your personal brand, networking and career development, please reach out to book a free discovery call and discuss how coaching can help you.